"Droll Artstar?" Dude. This guy was like, totally dressed up as the Crow all through seventh grade, right? Yikes. Okay, I'll stop there.
Actually, I don't really think I can stop there. I mean, "hipster combustion." That sounds like one of those things where you yell, "in my pants" really loud at the end, but instead you should yell, "in my ass!" I have hipster combustion . . . in my ass! It comes from eating hipster fusion tacos that come in a uber-hipster vintage happy meal box.
And then, oy vey, the very first words in his description are "slim-hipped." The hell? You're a guy. What are you trying to get across with this description? Are you trying to distinguish yourself from guys with wide, child-bearing hips? Eh? Are you saying you're not actually a real guy, but more like Nancy Drew's tomboy friend George? C'mon Nancy, let's go discover the secret of the hidden clock! Eek. Are you trying to warn girly droll artstars that you may puncture their spleens during sexual encounters with your jutting pelvis? Or is this an elaborate pun? As in "ironically, the hipster jabbed me to death with his slim, slim hips"? Hiptastic!
And there's more...if he's looking for Jane, I guess that makes him a scrawny, pretentious Tarzan, and the "classical route of dinner?" Is that the path to the IHOP that goes past the Acropolis?
But I really will stop. And I know. What's lamer? This guy's ad, or the fact that I have nothing better to do than dissect it in a gleeful bout of mockery? I think the facts speak for themselves on that one...
Droll artstar. Bwa!!!
posted by Reen |link| 0 comments
